This is totally random but I was just thinking, I can’t
imagine having my arm amputated… there would be certain things I definitely
could not do. No matter how much I wanted to, it wouldn’t be a choice it would
be fact. For instance I definitely could not knit, play the trombone, jump
rope, or play quack diddly oh so.
My disabilities aren’t quite as restrictive for sure, which
I am very thankful for! There is nothing that I “cannot” do… well at least not
due to my IC, my husband doesn’t call me 5 lb muscles for nothing.
Sure… I “could” do all those things… I take for granted the
fact that I “could” knit or play the trombone… if I wanted to learn and ya
know, be patient.
There are, however, still things I should not do… Things
that would cause an instant flare and make me pay for days. Even though I have
had IC for 12 years I am still learning what are things that I shouldn’t do, in
the past I have learned I can’t ride a jet ski, an innertube behind a boat,
ride a horse and this weekend I learned a new thing I definitely should not do.
What I want to know… if your friends jumped off a bridge,
would you? What if there was a bungee cord? What if that bungee cord may or may
not be just a couple inches long? All your friends say, “come on! Whats the
worst that will happen? You’ll just get a tiny bonk on the head, perhaps a mild
concussion! Let’s do it!” Okay…
So there we go. We launch off the bridge only to watch the
ground hurtling towards you, waiting for the reassuring tension to catch, but…
it was just a tiny bit too late. You limply swing from the bridge. You made the
wrong decision.
All this is to say… I should not, ever, ever ride a
motorcycle. My husband got a Harley Sportster about 6 months ago and I have now
attempted to ride with him 3 times.
Each time it not only causes severe pain minutes after we
leave but the pain of having my entire body weight resting on my sensitive
regions lasts for hours, if not days.
Sunday I decided to give it another try... I mounted the
bike and thought if I could shift all my weight to my tailbone it wouldn’t be
so bad. So off we went, the first 2 minutes were exhilarating! The warm summer
wind blowing in my face, the scary/ exciting sensation of potential death while
wrapping my arms around my strong, leather clad husband. (Don’t get me started
on the leather… but I guess it goes with the bike.)
When suddenly the pain seared through me like a blazing
dagger. I was too scared to shift my weight while on a tiny seat on the top of
two wheels going 50 mph. So I sat in misery for another 2 minutes until we got
to a stop light and I told my dear husband we needed to head back.
He nodded and flipped an alarmingly tight u-turn and we
headed home. Then the pain escalated from my urethra to my bladder… turns out
straddling a huge vibrating machine shakes up a decrepit bladder in a very
unpleasant way. As we drove past my
friends the Alapacas I thought for sure I was going to pee all over my husband
and his precious bike. I focused and thankfully we made it home just in time.
As soon as I swung my leg over the bike I stopped focusing
and instantly the pee dribbled down my pants into my shoes. It was a
particularly hot day here in Seattle
so I stripped down, put on my swim suit and jumped into the pool. The cool water
soothed my aching body and reduced the painful swelling. The pain eventually
subsided, hours later, but I definitely learned a lesson this weekend.
Just because I “can” do stuff… doesn’t mean I should. It’s
not worth it to do these things to convince myself I’m normal because HELLO…
I’m not! What normal person swims on a hot day primarily to reduce lady bit
swelling??
This doesn’t mean I’m going to stop trying new things it
just means I’m going to measure my bungee cord before I throw myself off the
bridge. (Some how that’s a really deep metaphor if you dig deep.)
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