Between a rock and a hard place!

When we moved almost three months ago I knew it would be an adjustment but I had no idea the life changes that it would bring. Feel free to browse back to my "Changes" blog for more info but trust me... There's been even more adjusting than I knew then. The biggest one is something I would have never expected. Not the smaller kitchen, the lack of trees or even the constant cow poop smell! It has been the weird shaped tub!

If you’ve read any of my blogs you know that I deal with my interstitial cystitis pain by sitting in the shower for hours. On an average day I’m in there 3-4 hours but on bad days it’s more like 6-7 hours sitting in the shower. So you could imagine how a faulty tub shape could affect me. For some reason the way the back is slanted causes me to slip down. I constantly scoot back up but then minutes later I find myself half sitting/ half laying. So then all my weight is centered on my tail bone rather than my booty that God carefully padded just for this occasion. 

If I'm in there for a short time it doesn't bother me much but after a couple hours the pain in my back and hips is almost as bad as the pain that's causing me to be in the shower to begin with. So lately I've been turning to my trusty pain meds and getting out of the shower before the back pain can get too bad.

However... Just over a week ago I took my new pain meds called Nucynta, see “Crack is Whack” blog, and suddenly my body was covered in a rash, my throat was closing and my chest was tight.

My mom raced me to the ER where they pumped me full of antihistamines, prednisone and had me do two breathing treatments. With that scary episode over I vowed to never take that poison again. Two days later I took Vicodin and I had the same reaction. I took Benadryl, my prescribed prednisone and used my new inhaler but the fear of having a reoccurring episode sent me back to the ER. They said I had done everything we could do and that it was probably just the Nucynta still causing trouble.

After that I decided to not take any pain meds for a while... Well that lasted 4 days. Then the pain was excruciating in my back, bladder and urethra so I gave in and tried dilaudid. Same reaction. It was much milder than before but still the same things. I did the same protocol and felt better in no time. 

The next day the pain was even worse and I was desperate for relief so I tried dilaudid again. Same deal. 

So, after 4 reactions in 10 days one would maybe assume that I shouldn't take any pain meds. So what do I do now? I'm in the midst of a horrible flare with no chance of relief in sight. So I sit in the shower, which causes severe back pain. I'm literally between a rock and a hard place. 

Yesterday I was in the shower for 12 hours. Can you even imagine?? Sitting in a hard tub, being drenched in hot water, in excruciating pain, for 12 hours? Today I was in there for 8 hours and took Benadryl to just knock myself out so I could just rest my weary, aching body.

I'm really scared that this is my new existence, I'm in so much pain and I'm just lonely and bored out of my mind! 

I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow and I'm also planning on picking up the vaginal Valium suppositories that are super expensive but at this point… I would sell my sister for some relief. (Not really… don’t start a bidding war! She’s my sister!)

Sorry to have my first blog back sad and discouraging but it's the real deal. I had been fighting with myself on what to write my next blog about but I just had to be real and go to the root of it all… IC sucks!