5 Years of Marriage!

Today marks 5 years of marriage for my husband Zach and me, 5 years since we stood in front of our family, friends, and God to say “I do”, 5 years since we said explicitly “in sickness and in health”. We were so young, just 21, old enough to feel true love but young enough not to know how hard life could be.

Although our marriage started 5 years ago today, our story really started 13 years ago… We met in junior high and had lots of mutual friends. We hung out some but I always thought of him as a lovable, slightly odd, boy friend. Boy… Friend… Not boyfriend.

One time he came over and my friend kept trying to get him to hold my hand as we all hung out on the hammock but he was way too chicken and I wasn’t sure I wanted him to anyway. This was the year 2000 and all of us “normal” kids were wearing flared jeans and hoodies while my future husband wore a leather jacket... Being an individual can go two different ways in junior high but fortunately for him every one embraced it. He was affectionately dubbed “the fonz” for most of junior high; he even had his new nickname on the back of his sports sweatshirts. (I still wear his Fonz wrestling sweatshirt, it has that delightful worn quality that only a well loved piece of clothing can have!)

Anyway the years went by and we remained good friends. I frequently called him when other boys broke my young, fragile heart and he was so good at simultaneously telling me that I deserved better and making me laugh. He rode his bike to my house  one day in the summer after 9^th grade, we had a great day swimming in our pool and he even ended up staying for a delicious dinner of barbequed steaks with my whole family but I still thought of him as just my good friend!

Not long after this I started dating another guy and he turned out to be not a very good guy… So regularly I called on teenaged Zach when I had been hurt yet again. He was there for me until he eventually had had enough and said he couldn’t sit by as this guy who didn’t deserve me broke my heart time and time again. So I let him go… what a ding bat.

Years later, I was 19 and single but in the depths of my battle with IC. I had recently given up the hope of having a guy in my life until my IC was under control. It was May 10^th and I was sitting in the bath with my laptop on the edge playing around on… MySpace… When suddenly I got a message from someone called The Crowegian (he’s Croatian and Norwegian), it said something like, “Holy crap! (Classy) Hi! I haven’t talked to you in forever. How are you? Still dating ____ (the jerk boy friend)?” After perusing his pictures I realized it was Zach aka The Fonz!!

We ended up trading phone numbers and we texted nonstop until we met up at a local Mongolian BBQ place the next evening. The dinner went fabulously and I didn’t want it to end so I invited him back to my house (my house of course meaning my parents house) to hang out some more! We took a swim in the pool just like old times then we stayed up chatting until like 1 in the morning. I guess I should say that what I consider chatting, Zach considered grilling. He now affectionately refers to me during our first date as Barbara Walters… But who could blame me? I was 19, I had two chronic pain conditions, and I had never really dated a guy that treated me right. I told him all about my IC and my Endometriosis and the potential challenges he would face if he chose to date me.

The next day was my 20th birthday party with my family and he had to work so we took a day apart to let things settle in but on May 13^th, 2007 he was planning on coming to church with me. So I texted him and asked (I was so coy) what I should introduce him as at church and he asked if I wanted to introduce him as my boy friend! (Eeeeeee! 19 year old girl scream!!!!!)

Five months later we were engaged.

We have been through sooo much since then. Like I said at the beginning of this blog, we literally had no idea how hard life could be… much less married life, even more less married life with chronic pain! Actually I am so very thankful we didn’t know because honestly I don’t know if we would have leapt into marriage with such abandon if we had known the trials that were ahead.

We’ve been through every money struggle you could think of, Zach has had several different jobs, he went back to school while working part time, we have pretty much lived with my parents our whole marriage, I have had about a dozen surgeries, intimacy is painful and difficult for me, we had family conflicts, we had infertility issues, I had a horrible pregnancy, I had severe post-partum depression after having our son, we had every normal marital spat known to all, and of course I battled interstitial cystitis and endometriosis the whole time.

But. I wouldn’t trade one single second of that sorrow if it meant I would lose my husband for that same moment. It has all been worth it. Every. Single. Minute. Even right now as I sit here typing this and he lays next to me snoring loud enough to wake the neighbor’s barn cats, its bliss. Okay maybe not bliss but it does make me smile.

Last weekend I sat outside while he made a tire swing for our 2 year old son, Titus, while he napped. We laughed and teased, it was lovely. He had to tie several knots and they were strong but once he hung the swing he stood on it with all his weight to make those knots tighten even more. In a very abstract way that reminds me of our marriage… There has been so much weight and hardship on our relationship but each pound that’s hoisted on us just makes our knot stronger and tighter.

Each overdraft notice, each surgery, each new job, each doctor’s appointment, each melt down, each fight… It all made us stronger. What a blessed gift we have. God created us to be together. He knew this was the plan all along, even that day on the hammock when he didn’t hold my hand… God knew that one day he would hold my hand… and that he has… through so much.

I could go on and on and on about my marriage to this man. Really, it’s one of my very favorite topics but I know I must wrap this up eventually…

So let me just say…

I love you dear husband. Thank you for not just doing life beside me but with me. Thank you for creating a love that made us a beautiful son. Thank you for pushing me (literally and metaphorically) when I think I cannot go on. Thank you for loving me in spite of my many flaws. Thank you for loving me chubby or thin, make up or not, greasy headed or fresh. Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for watching Project Runway and saying things like “that would be cute with a nice cap sleeve”. Thank you for waking up at 4 am to provide for our family. Thank you for forgiving me for throwing that wash cloth at you and saying I hated you that one time. Thank you for making our marriage a priority. Thank you for saying you don’t deserve me when really I’m the one that doesn’t deserve you. Thank you for admitting when you are wrong. Thank you for being my friend, my partner, my lifelong mate, and my lobster.

I can write it a million ways but a picture is truly worth a thousand perfect words. So scroll down and watch our love story unfold. (Oh man that was a cheesy sentence… blame it on the synthetic hormones!

Side note: Dear IC readers, Thank you for obliging my totally off topic rambling yet again. I’m towards the end of my recovery from my hysterectomy and will be starting some new IC treatments soon! Stay tuned! :o)

Side Side Note: After spending hours going through, uploading, organizing and captioning all those pictures I realized how truly blessed we have been over the years. In spite of my health and money struggles we have done a lot of fun things and have lived every ounce of life we could! We are so blessed! 

One of our first dates was to the Zoo!

At Snoqualmie Falls... this was a glimpse of real life. Our first fight that started over directions and I almost died hiking to the Falls... He wouldn't go get help, he mocked me and literally pushed me up the hill... 

I made a romantic candlelit area outside so we could have our first dance ever. What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong. We also chose that song for our first dance as a married couple song. 

Dating was so fun! We went and got DQ ice cream cake just cuz! 

We're getting married!! He proposed at The Cheesecake Factory over dessert with a ring and a necklace with my *NEW* initials engraved! 

Halloween! Joker and Cat Woman! 

At Northwest Trek! 

We went on a Ferry Ride! 

At the Oregon Coast with Zach's family!

I do.

Everyone who loves us came to see us become one. 

Young and in love! Best day ever!

Just Married!

On the boat snorkeling in Hawaii for our Honeymoon!  

Dinner on the veranda! 

Seriously the best week of my life! 

Back to real life but now as Mr. and Mrs. Jovanovich

At a friends wedding! 

Love us. 

We went Sailing on Puget Sound just for fun one day! 

Our first "child" Tucker! 

Seeing the animals got to us! 

Our 2 year Anniversary! 

Merry Christmas! 

New Years at my Grandparent's cabin! 

1+1=3

Love this picture of us and our baby boy in my  tummy! The pregnancy was so hard but it was so worth it!

Just a week before our lives changed forever! 

The last family photo with just 2 of us! 

Titus James Jovanovich September 12, 2011. 

Love at first sight!

So in love. 

First family Halloween! Bunch of barn animals! 

Picking out our Christmas Tree! 

Christmas Morning 2011. 

Our matching CTPCOA shirts. 21+32=53 

Even though we are now parents we're still fun and silly!

Titus got dedicated! So powerful having so many people pray over his life! 

Valentines Day 2012   

Zach got a Harley!! 

Out for a spring time stroll!                              

After one of my many surgeries! Family Walk!

My 25th Birthday!

Memorial Day we went on a picnic to the river!

We got away for the Weekend last year and enjoyed every minute of the time for just us! 

Boat ride through Deception Pass!

Baseball game with our friends! 

At the Farmers Market!

Titus' First Birthday Party!

Our Family! 

Us.

I believe we were just sitting outside because Titus had fallen asleep in the car...

At the Pumpkin Patch!

Monkeys and our Zoo keeper! Halloween 2012

Getting our Christmas Tree! 

Getting ready for Zach's company Christmas Party! We danced the night away! So fun!

Titus wasn't too sure about his first canoe ride... 

At the park! 

Our 2013 Family Pictures. I love us.