If it's not one thing...

September 2011- Cesarean Section to deliver my son

October 2011- Mastitis

November 2011- Interstim revised.

December 2011- Mastitis

January 2012- Mastitis

February 2012- Diagnosed with severe postpartum depression

March 2012- Shingles

April 2012- Double interstim revision

June 2012- Cystoscopy with hydrodistention and Botox

September 2012- First horrible Urinary Tract Infection of many

November 2012- Cystoscopy with hydrodistention and Botox

December 2012- Anaphylactic reaction to a mix of Nucynta and Zofran

January 2013- Anaphylactic reaction to a mix of Vicodin and Zofran

February 2013- Laparoscopy to laser off endometriosis

March 2013- Cystoscopy with hydrodistention and Botox

May 2013- Got off birth control to start trying to get pregnant, Endo not happy!

June 2013- Started hormones to induce period to get pregnant

August 2013- Dystonic reaction to Tigan, in the ICU for 5 days

August 2013- Unable to walk for almost a month after the dystonia

August 2013- Finally started the period I had been waiting for... too late. 

August 2013- Cystoscopy with hydrodistention and Botox

September 2013- Full hysterectomy

October 2013- Recovering from surgery and adjusting to new hormones

November 2013- Endoscopy with several biopsies

Those are just the things that stick out in my mind… There have also been run of the mill colds and other normal life dramas… Oh and also chronic UTI’s, chronic nausea, occasional vomiting, endometriosis and Interstitial Cystitis.

Just typing those things it seems ridiculous that I could have experienced these things in the last 2 years… 

Like seriously, if I read a book and the main character had all these things happen I would be rolling my eyes at the absurdity and over exaggeration… I wish I could say that was the case.

These are just straight up facts.

I was just saying to my Mom the other day as she drove me to my Endoscopy how true that saying is for me, "if it’s not one thing, it’s another". The problem is all of these things I highlighted are horrible but the days in between are really hard too. So even if I’m not dealing with shingles, an infection, or recovering from surgery I am still dealing with chronic, unrelenting pain!

I hate saying this. It’s my most hated statement in the English language but… It is not fair. I’m sorry. I hate to say it but seeing all that I've gone through typed out...  it’s really not fair.

I feel like I deserve a break. Like a month long vacation on some tropical island where they bring me food and delicious drinks while I lay by the pool or on the beach reading good books.

But that’s not the case.

You might not believe me when I say this but really I don’t get like this very often… this “Poor me, pity me” attitude. Usually I’m a pretty positive “take each new day as it comes” kind of girl but sometimes I need to just write down all the horrible things that I have gone through and feel bad for myself for a minute.

So I did. I’m over it now.

It has been a hard couple of years, no doubt about it!

BUT! My son, bless his sweet heart, is very much like his Mommy and he feeds off of my emotions a lot. So we are happy to stay in jammies and read or watch movies all day, eating snacks on Daddy’s side of the bed (so we don’t get crumbs on my side)! Plus my Mom is my understudy in life. On days when it hurts too bad or I’m too drugged to even do that my Mom happily takes Titus and they go about their day.

Having a snack on Daddy's side of the bed! (We love you Daddy!)

Unfortunately my son is very much like me in not so great ways too… He doesn’t like change and he gets overwhelmed really easily. So now that I’m recovered from my hysterectomy and trying to start living some semblance of a normal life… he’s sort of panicking! He loves playing outside and going on some outings but new things like going to our Kindermusik class are so scary… He didn’t leave my lap until the last 5 minutes of class. Although nothing is worse than me trying to pawn him off on some kind volunteer in the toddler class at my new MOPS (Mother of Preschoolers) group or at Church. He clings to me like a baby monkey the minute we walk into either building and starts to cry the minute we walk down the hallway towards his class… Last Sunday was his first church service he made it in class the whole time! (He sat on one of the teachers laps and cried on and off the whole time but hey, it’s progress!)

Titus getting a stamp after Kindermusik class... Maybe it's not so bad? 

So anyway… We’re adjusting. I am still battling daily pain from my IC and my chronic nausea but my endometriosis is gone! Praise. The. Lord! So each week we are trying to do a little bit, even if I end up in bed for two days after every busy day. But, it’s worth it! (Or so my Mom tells me…)

We’re entering into a world of change… New classes, groups, friends and this toddler business isn’t coming as easy as infanthood did for me. The big three (moving Titus to a toddler bed, potty training, and taking away his precious goody (pacifier)) are staring me in the face wondering when, how, why but I’m trying to just relax and enjoy these last three lingering babyhood things. Plus like his mommy, he likes to take things slow…

So we’re going to MOPS every other week, kindermusik when we can and church every Sunday. Then resting in between. It’s good. It’s progress. It will take time to adjust but I’m praying that we’ll have somewhat of a break and can get into a good routine before the next storm hits! 

Today I go in to see my urologist. The day is finally here. I am hopeful. Believe it or not, after all these years I still get my hopes up each time. I'll post an update if anything newsworthy comes of it! 

Thanks again for reading! Can't believe people have come to my blog almost 18,000 times just to read my random mutterings! Very humbling! Love to you all!