How IC it...: The humble daisy

Today is my Mom's birthday! Happy Birthday Mom! I started out writing a card to go along with her gifts but I immediately realized unless I bought a small forest worth of cards I wouldn’t be able to get everything I wanted to say jammed on there so I wrote a letter and thought I would share it because that's what I do. (Hi, I'm Deni and I over share. I have not over-shared for... well I'm doing it right now... I'm not sure how effective the Over Share Anonymous meetings have been...) So here is what I wrote...

Happy Birthday! The three of us love you so much, thank you for all that you do every single day! I can only pray that God will give me the love, patience, endurance, and selflessness to be the type of Mom to Titus that you have been to me since my first cry.

To quote a movie that we both love, you’ve Got Mail- “I love daisies, they’re so friendly. Don’t you think they’re the friendliest flower?” I really do agree with Miss Kathleen Kelly! They are so friendly and make people smile. Who can be sad around a daisy flower? Not even the dirt on the ground that they grow from can feel forlorn when it looks up and sees this happy flower blooming from its filthy self. Drew Barrymore once said, “Daisies are like sunshine to the ground.” I totally agree with that as well!

I don’t know why or when Daisies became “our” flower… I don’t just like daisies by myself, I like them with you. Maybe you liked them and, like most daughters who want to be just like their moms, I decided to love them as well. Then perhaps over time they did become my own very favorite flower.

Either way, any time I see them I can’t help but smile. They are happy and friendly but more than that they make me think of you! Whether they’re nestled in a gorgeous bouquet at a farmers market, perfectly placed in a glass vase in a centerpiece at my wedding, or growing as a weed alongside a busy road they make me happy. Not just happy like I feel when I’m eating a heaping bowl of ice cream but the kind of happiness I feel when I hear Titus giggles.

I decided to do a little research on this topic of daisies because you can’t love something so much without knowing it thoroughly and the results were astonishing.

I found out I don’t like daisies because they’re simple, friendly, pretty, or unassuming and definitely not because of their smell. I like them because they are you and you are them. I understand that this sounds like the ramblings of a crazy, artsy street urchin hobo but bear with me as I prove what I just discovered to be true.

Fact about Daisies #1

A daisy is a “vascular plant” which simply means that they circulate goodness throughout themselves to survive.

Fact about You #1

You have more goodness circulating in you than anyone I’ve ever known. However, you don’t use your goodness to survive… you use your goodness to help others survive.

Fact about Daisies #2

The name daisy comes from an Old English word that means “Days Eye” because they open at dawn.

Fact about You #2

For the past 28 years you have been waking up at dawn, or any other time day or night, to take care of your family. Whether it’s to soothe a crying baby, make a pizza, or take someone’s temperature… you wake up whenever anyone needs you.

Fact about Daisies #3

Daises represent purity and innocence.

Fact About you #3

No one could be described with those same two words like you could be, especially pure. You’re pure love, joy, selflessness, and devotion.

Fact about Daisies #4

A daisy is actually two flowers in one.

Fact about You #4

You are many people in one. You are a wife, a mother, a mother-in-law, a grandmother, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a niece, a cousin, a friend, and so on... You are so much, to so many.

Fact about Daisy #5

Daisies have many medicinal qualities. They can help things like easing a cough and even slow bleeding.

Fact about You #5

This is the most surprising fact of all because years ago no one would have guessed it but now you’re just a framed paper hanging on the wall away from being a doctor. When we were young you healed our owies and boo boo’s with a kiss and now our ailments are more extreme. In order for you to take care of your family, you became much more extreme. The way you care for our family and treat our various injuries and complaints 24/7 is beyond anything found in nature.

Fact about Daisy #6

Due to their color and scent daises attract Bee’s more than any other flower.

Fact about You #6

You always smell delightfully sweet yet elegant and dress in beautifully bold yet simply soft hues but your colors and smells aren’t what attract people to you. People can feel your kindness and care from miles away and are immediately drawn to you.

Fact about Daisies #7

The daisy family is the second largest family of flowering plants. Some daisies are big, some are small, and they come in various colors, not one looking like another yet are all beautiful.

Fact about You #7

You come from a large family that steadily grows as the years go by. There aren’t two family members the same. Each person is unique, significant and special in their own ways.

Fact about Daisies #8

Daisies thrive in typically inhospitable conditions that most flowers wouldn’t stand a chance to grow in, much less thrive.

Fact about You #8

You have not only survived difficult times of life but you have thrived! All the financial ups and downs, the sicknesses, the heart break, the changes, and the challenges have not broken you. Not only do you come out all that on top… You come out with a smile, a plate of fresh cookies, humming an old hymn (even if Zach thinks they’re slave songs…) and a heart full of faith that God is with you.

After typing these facts I have made a new discovery! You’re not a daisy, a daisy isn’t you. As much as we love those lovely, simple, happy, humble flowers… You are even more.

Although realizing that doesn’t change anything, I still love daisies. I will always love daisies because they remind me of you. Actually it would be more accurate to say they remind me of us.

I’m so very thankful that through the most inhospitable conditions we have been through together we thrive together by somehow using the hardships, the tough rocky soil, to get stronger and become even closer.

Happy Birthday, Mom. Thank you for using your adversity to make you better, for being selfless to make us better, for being friendly, happy, humble, hardworking, and giving just like a simple, elegant, beautiful daisy.

Love,

Your Daughter

Deni

On the day I was born!

Mommy snuggles are the best!

We always had so much fun!

Right in front of the White house, we traveled a lot growing up!

Visiting Mom at work, Aerofab Racing days!

Mother of the bride!

First time she met Titus!

"The best Mom's are promoted to Grandmas!"

At the Zoo!

Tractor ride for Titus!

Me and the 3 people I love most in the world!

My Mom and her girls all grown up!

Even when you turn... eh... a certain age... Your Mom brings you cake and candles! Love these 3!

Now… As I have told you before… Even when I write things that have nothing to do with IC, although this one does because truly I could not have gotten through the last almost 15 years of having this disease without this woman who’s birthday is today, I still post them on my blog. It can’t be helped.

I printed this note and put it in a nice box, wrapped it, and gave it to my Mom along with a big bunch of daisies and a pretty gold daisy necklace. She read this sobbing her eyes out and then after she thanked me 134 times she said, “I hope I can live up to all this”. That in and of itself is another example of why my Mom and these humble yet beautifully elegant flowers are so alike.

I pray that each of you that comes across this blog that has IC has someone in their life even half as wonderful as my Mom!

All this started with me writing a card but then it turned into an 8 page report on the similarities of daisies and my Mom. Don’t ask me why. It just happens all the time... But this time I thought I would share it with all of you as a tribute to all the Moms out there for Mother's Day coming up on Sunday!

With my Mom's birthday today and Mothers day on Sunday, this whole weekend will be a celebration of my Mom and all the other amazing mother that I look up to!

So Happy Mother’s Day to the amazing women in my life that have, and continue to, make me who I am and who encourage, support, and love me through life, my illness, and motherhood. I love you: Grandma, Aunt Claudia, Aunt Ginna, Mother-in-law’s Charmaine and Ruth, my sisters Dana and Jeny, my amazing cousins- Karly, Katie, Jamie, Michelle, Emily, and Dorianne and so many other wonderful women!

As for the Mothers who have IC, you’re my greatest inspirations! Thank you for pushing through this horrid disease and still putting your children before yourself. You doing that pushes me to be the best Mom I can be even in the depth of end stage IC that tries to rob every good thing in our lives.

Most of all… Thank you to my sweet blonde haired, blue eyed miracle that made me a Mom 2 ½ years ago and continues to love me the way only a toddler boy can love his Mom. Thank you for your patience, your tolerance, your trust, your faith, your smile, your snuggles, and most of all… Thank you for your love. I promise I am doing everything in my power to be the best Mom I can be every single day, for each day and for the future. Thank you for calling me Momma!