I wrote a blog several years ago around Mother’s Day comparing and contrasting my mom to the beautiful, humble daisy. Well I think I’ve found my spirit plant. The cactus. Yep. The big, prickly, green symbol of the southwest and I are like this 🤞🏼.
First of all we both appear to have stopped caring about how we look around the same time the cowboys stopped starring. 😉
Secondly, we both have strong defense systems. The cactus- sharp needles. Me- sharp whit.
Third, we are intriguing but often times people are nervous about getting too close.
Lastly, and most of all, we have been created perfectly by this magnificent creator to not just survive in temperament climates but to thrive in it.
Did you know that despite their stature the roots of a cactus are actually quite shallow? It’s so that the minute it rains and even a speck of moisture permeates the dry ground those roots are right there to soak it up!
My dear cacti friends and I differ in this because I take pride in my deep roots. My roots in my faith and my roots in my family. Those suckers are nearly touching the center of the earth.
However I find that fascinating that these intimidating trees have dainty roots that are just bellow the surface.
Also the spines on a cactus are actually the beginning of leaves or flowers but in its habitat it rarely has the chance to flourish. But that cactus WORKS it! Like, oh I didn’t want flowers anyway. Little piddly pansies can flower but they’re a dime a dozen. Dare I say they’re... pedestrian? (My husband loves when I use that phrase. Ha. Psyche. (Why did we stop saying psyche? Let’s bring it back!) He hates it.)
So instead of being a bulbous plant covered in flowers and leaves it is known for its prickly pricks. Maybe we don’t even miss the adornments because we’ve just accepted and embraces the cactus for what it is. What’s important to note however is that the cactus doesn’t give up, it continues to grow those spikes as potential leaves or flowers even though year after year nothing comes of it. Of course there are times that a determined cactus preservers and sure enough produces a bud! Oh the pride it must feel! I bet it straightens up and holds its arms extra high surely praising God for his perfect plans and thanking him for rewarding it’s faith and endurance with the blessing of a bloom.
I perhaps am letting this metaphor get away from me... oh boy. That happens. Unfortunately I’m writing this on my phone and I don’t have the knowledge or gumption to thoroughly edit or revise this blog so just pretend like we’re talking in real life and enjoy the (jack)rabbit trails.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m like the cactus and as much as I want my sharp needles to turn to flowers they’re just not going to. I literally flew thousands of miles to another time zone, to another climate with the hopes of answers and subsequent treatments and healing but every day the answer is no. They don’t know. These supposedly genius doctors, renowned specialists they try to mumble words of this or that but at the end of every appointment they remind me how uncommon and rare I am. They study my records and results, they ask their questions, they think out loud. Then they tell me they’ll talk my case over with their colleagues, they refer me to more renowned geniuses, and send me on my way. It has varied a little bit from doctor to doctor but that’s the gist.
Then I go back to the hotel and I cry.
Not only does no one know what’s wrong with me, they don’t know why it’s happening nor how to fix it.
After every single appointment I’ve boldly declared that I was done and going home. I don’t know if that was the right thing to do or not but so far I’ve been convinced to stay. Today I proclaimed that unless things started really shaking, I am leaving on next Friday no matter what. I haven’t seen one reason to stay here, seeing specialists that keep complementing the thoroughness of my doctors back home! The different specialists aren’t communicating as a team, the appointments aren’t on the express track, and most of all they don’t know why my body is constantly throwing a fit and rejecting my urine no matter what equipment it goes through. The doctor I saw today referred me to see a nephrologist (which I’ve been requesting for literally a year) but they can’t get me in for 3 weeks! We’re going to continue to call the cancelation line and we will pray. Hopefully God will move the appointments like he did last week but if not I don’t see any reason the one down here would be any better than one at UW.
Oh man. I’m really rambling now. I apologize.
To summarize. I’m a cactus. God gave us these incredible abilities to adapt to our arid conditions but he also gave us this insatiable drive to do more than just survive but also to thrive!
For my less metaphorical readers here’s the facts... so far they haven’t come up with any answers. They did a bunch of blood and urine tests today (finally) and I have a skin allergy test tomorrow. Then I’m done. I might get a follow up with the allergy doctor to go over all the results but he may just call. The urologist is going to present my case to the other urologists on Monday (finally) and they may come up with some tests to do or more specialists to see. I’ll wait a few more days to see if the nephrology appointment gets moved up or there’s anything else they need from me but like I said, things would seriously need to get shaking to keep me here past next week. That will be three entire weeks here, mainly just waiting.
The good news is, in the meantime, my sweet baby boy is on his way down here and I can’t wait to snuggle him until he tells me I’m annoying him and then just like 5 more minute.
The pain and nausea have been out of control the whole time I’ve been down here. My urine has continued to turn all the colors of an Arizonan sunset. I’ve just been laying in the hotel bed the entire trip. We drove to the top of a little nearby mountain, we went to target and have gone out to eat a couple times but otherwise I’ve been in the room the entire time. I’m praying my Mommy creature power will kick in and I’ll be up to going to the pool at least once or twice while Titus is here but I’m trying not to set too high expectations on myself.
Thanks for reading my rambling thoughts and supporting my family and I through all of this!! We are always and forever so thankful.
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