Over the 12 years of having this dreadful disease I have tried amitriptyline
a few times without results but my doctor wanted to try it just one more time
before we pull out the big guns. I'm on my third week of taking it and now up
to 30mg a night. My doctor wants me all the way up to 50mg so that means at least another 2 whole weeks like this!
The side effects of this drug are so obnoxious! I am starving
all the time, I am gaining weight like crazy and my mouth is dryer than the hot
winds of Africa!
The worst part is the pure starvation and desperation for crap
food. I seriously feel like I've been lost as sea surviving on dried kelp and
raw fish that I caught using a strand of my hair and a hook I made out of a toe
nail.
You think I am joking… but seriously! Every hour or so it's like
my homecoming to land and I feed myself with a desperation previously only
known to animals.
Oh and I'm not craving healthy thing... No buddy. Ice cream and
chips are the only things that will satisfy this inner starved beast.
Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you look at, I
eat our stock in both the day we get it so I go for days moping around gnawing
on saltines and sucking hard candies to appease my desperation until some one takes pity on me and goes to the store.
I have struggled with my weight the last few years and I just got it
close to a place that I was happy with and now this?!? In the 3 weeks of
being on this dreaded drug I've gained 8 whole pounds! What! I didn’t even
know that was possible!
My doctor said if it doesn't start working soon and the bad
outweighs (pun totally intended) the good to just go ahead and taper off of it. But she was also the
one that says to "not give in to the cravings" so what does she
know?! You try fighting back a starved inner beast when all it wants is a mere puffy cheeto or two! (It's the whole bag lets face it.)
Here's the thing, I'd rather be as big as a barge and be pain
free then svelte and in misery but I don't want to add issues to my health and add poundage to my
beautifully striking figure for nothing. (ha.)
The other issue is it makes my mouth so dry!! Like the whole lost at sea thing again! No matter how much water I drink its just so
dry! Plus that goes against my infamous theory of drinkativity, (it’s a thing). I dehydrate myself every day. Not entirely
intentional but I have this woebegone theory that if I don't drink water I
won't have to pee as often. I would rather pee a few times and have it hurt
worse from the concentrated urine then dozens of times and have it only hurt
moderately. So I deprive myself of water... You don't need to tell me how horrible that is... I've heard it from every one and in every way.
Anyway, every morning I wake up hoping that this is the day it
starts to help but if I don't see results soon its adios muchacho!!
Okay I've got to go unashamedly gorge myself with ice cream
now... Thanks for reading!
