It's shocking...

A few weeks ago I felt a pinch deep inside… I ignored it until a few days later when it had transformed into a full blown shock. I turned my interstims off with much hesitation. Every one tried to convince me to go to the doctor but I knew the old routine and the bad news that goes with it but I just wasn’t up for it yet. So with my interstims off the pain continued and the incontinence intensified.

Finally a few days ago I got out of the car, did a jolly little hop/ skip and felt like my interstim dropped out of my back. I knew I had to get things checked out.

Today I finally gave in and went to see my beloved urologist, (after going to her for over 10 years she feels more like my friend than my doctor). I was right, the interstim wires moved. After doing an x-ray we found out the interstims leads had some how pushed in deeper, closer to the nerve. So every little stimulation felt massive and painful because it was right on top of the sensitive nerve.

Dr. Jacoby reprogrammed my troubled interstim so that the leads that were running were the ones furthest from the nerve but even then I had the level on .60 and could feel it like it was at a 10!

The whole time we reprogrammed I knew what was coming… the dreaded impendence test… I think of it as a virus scan on your computer but it checks to make sure there is no damage to any of the tiny wires running through my body. It always hurts when she does this test… it runs through all the programs so I feel little bursts of electricity all over…

Little did I know today would be the worst impendence test ever because of the close proximity to the nerve… when she started we were chatting as usual when suddenly my body convulsed and threw itself in the air. I instantly started crying because the sheer pain was too immense. I was sure I was being electrocuted and was pleading inside for it to be over. I looked over at my mom who was also crying and looked so scared, Titus was staring at me like I was possessed and my doctor was reassuring me it was almost over. Finally after about 30 seconds that felt like 30 minutes it was over. My body ached after my internal firework show but I was so thankful that it was over and the test showed every thing was ok.

We talked about a new treatment we could try if the new interstim settings didn’t work and she sent me on my way. As I shifted to different positions the rest of the evening the crazy high stimulation was too much, I turned it down to .30.

Then I lost control of my bladder and headed up to the shower… I had been in here for about 3 hours when the shocking started again. I yelled for my Mom to bring me my remotes and I turned it down to .15. I know it will be worse if I turn it off so I am trying to withstand some shocks… but seriously, this is so annoying!

The thing that is supposed to be treating my symptoms is causing new symptoms… what the heck?!? My poor bladder is exhausted after this crazy electrically charged day and the pain is immense. I took some vicodin to try to take the edge off but now I just feel drugged and nauseous with just as much pain and still in the shower!

I really didn’t want to post another depressing blog because I keep hearing how sad it is and that’s now what I wanted it to be… but this is my life people! I’m not sugar coating it but I’m not exaggerating either… I wish I was.